I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
