he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
