Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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