There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
