You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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