I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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