There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
