the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
