Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
