hotel room ftw
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
