Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
