oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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