thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
