You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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