your room smells of hookers.
And success
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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