whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
