ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
