There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
