Yo dont text me then not text me
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
