Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
