So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
