Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Randomize
