but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
