well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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