You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
