Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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