I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
