Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he thought i was a dude.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
