just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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