He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
