I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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