Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
