seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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