I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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