i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
