talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
