dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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