okay pat passed out under dana's car
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
