And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
