youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
