Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
