his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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