My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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