I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
