I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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