we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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