does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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