i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
sick fucks of a feather flock together
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
