we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
