Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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