The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
